Of recent, I have chosen to pursue my spiritual path. This
has led me to attend numerous retreats. On one such occasion my aunt
accompanied me on a blissful getaway from the city. That weekend I looked
forward to some peace and quiet.
On the first day, men and women rushed inside the hall for a
good seat. In those chaotic 60 seconds, I got separated from my aunt in the
crowd. I found a comfortable seat in the front. After making myself at home, I
searched for my aunt. She was seated a good two rows behind me. After
exchanging nods, I looked around the room.
Strangely all the men in the room occupied the front seats
and women were seated behind them. Did this act reflect our society? Me and
another lady were sticking out from the crowd as we sat with the men. Her blond
hair and very fair complexion made her stand out in the entire room. Men
surrounded us. The man on my left gave me a strange look. I now translate that
look as- “You are not supposed to be seated here.”
I frantically looked for a sign like I do when I go to
restrooms in restaurants. I found none that said ‘Ladies’ or ‘Gents.’ The
spiritual guru walked into the room and began the session. None of his wise
words reached me. My mind was occupied in an attempt to analyze why the men
were in the front and women behind them. I was determined to have a rational
deduction.
Were the men asked to sit in front? NO! Were the women asked
to take the back seats? NO! Did the teachings require the opposite sex to sit
separately? Definitely NOT! Why was it
that only a foreigner and I chose to sit in the front? The only deduction I
could come up with was the fact that we live in a patriarchal society.
On the second day, teachings revolved around equality. I watched people tear up to stories where
sentient beings were treated unequally. Really! Here we were being treated and
treating others unequally in this very room. Were they unaware of their actions
or did they choose to ignore? Worse, do they see this as normal and expected
behavior? I was baffled.
By the third day, I was sitting in the fifth row along with
the women. No one asked me to and no one forced me to. And I do not know why I consciously chose to
do so. During the teachings I would look around and imagine the life these
people led back home. The old man with the brown muffler must really love his
son. While they would have intelligent conversations on the round table, his
educated daughter-in-law must be busy in the kitchen. The pretty lady who
always asked questions must really love her husband. She must cook amazing
meals for him and would do exactly what is asked of her. The lady with streaks
of grey hair and a rosary around her neck must be devoted to her family. She
must be fond of her grandchildren but she must love her grandson more. And the
train of thoughts continued.
I had come to this retreat to get some perception on
spirituality. That did not happen. Did men in the frontline distract me or was
I just not ready to tread on the spiritual path? Don’t bother answering: it’s a
rhetorical question.
…
EC
